Not every Transgender person will blend in, nor will they all want surgery. Some will not even transition as they will identify as non binary.

Personally i am quite lucky in that my stature and frame allow me to blend in, let's not forget though, that out there, there are a great many who cannot 'chop' 6" or more off their height, who cannot alter their size 10 feet.

Non Binary people too, they face a daily struggle just to be addressed in a non binary manner, they may well look to all intents and purposes, male or female, but just on looks you cannot know that person is non binary, there are no tell tale signs that let another person know that this person is non binary and should be addressed using non binary terms like 'they' for example.

Also under the Transgender umbrella are people who cross dress, some might say i shouldn't include cross-dressers as transgender, but look up what 'transgender' means in the dictionary, a cross dresser is can be someone who occasionally dresses in clothing associated with the opposite gender. (soap box moment over) So, someone who may cross dress from time to time will most likely not come close to blending in, and they may well be quite happy with that.

In all scenario's concerning the above groups, with the exception of non binary, you should address the person in the gender of their appearance (a non binary person will (should) correct you politely).

Let me focus on Cross dressers, often treated with contempt by other transgender people. WHY?

Did we, as transitioning people, not start out by only dressing from time to time? I know i did, for me at that stage, cross dressing occasionally satisfied my urge to 'be female' and it gradually grew from once every so often to once a month, once a week, twice weekly and so on until i reached a stage in life where i could not continue pretending to be male.

Perhaps we, as a Transgender community, need to get our own act together and be more accepting of everyone under the Transgender umbrella, then maybe we shall have a united voice when we ask for better equality, or for more social understanding and acceptance.

Being Transgender, who are we?

Lisa Kelly

Transgender/LGBT activist
AGE: 49